Through the Looking Glass
There's a term for that?
Do you ever feel like the different versions of you are so incompatible they couldn’t possibly co-exist within the same person? Others must experience this too because I stumbled upon the term “individual dichotomy*” while exploring this thought.
Here’s how I’m feeling these days:
One part of me, let’s call her Lana¹**, is:
Loose, creative, artistic, flexible, moldable, colorful, whimsical, wanting no rules or boundaries, wishing to play, create, and tinker all day. Resisting responsibilities and expectations.
The other version, let’s call this one anaL, is:
Timely, serious, exacting, black & white, methodical, specific, curated, rigid, anxious, unrelenting, inflexible, and organized. Driven to achieve and maximize, coaching/consulting business owners on operations and processes.
The rigid version of me is where I land professionally. I’ll keep all “productivity talk” far away from this blog - as much as I can help it.
Here on Substack I’m attempting to do the exact opposite of productivity. Because I frequently ignore, repress, and silence Lana¹, I’m hoping this will be her place to shine. The idea (also trying to stay away from the word “goal”) is to allow myself a bit more time and space just to play - no hope of what I post here to achieve anything in particular. I’m saying all of this out loud mostly to hold myself accountable, but perhaps you can hold me accountable, too.
Here are some ideas in advance for how I can use this space to dance:
ANTI-Productivity, waste time on purpose
Slow down, observe moments and share observations
Goof off
Write words
Post photos
Post paintings and sketches
Share quotes and thoughts (I guess that’s just writing more words…)
Get inspired by others
Share practice pieces
So far, it’s fun. Carving out time for Lana¹ feels good. What kinds of things do you do just for you?
-Lana¹
*According to Google’s AI Overview: An "individual dichotomy" refers to a division within an individual, often between opposing forces or perspectives. It's a way of conceptualizing the complexities of human identity, acknowledging that a person can hold seemingly contradictory beliefs, values, or behaviors. This dichotomy can be seen in various aspects of life, such as the tension between personal desires and social expectations, or the conflict between individualistic and collectivist tendencies.
**My mom named me with Hawaiian meaning of “Lana” in mind (afloat, calm or still waters), but I also found that Lana could mean beauty, harmony, and light. One reference mentions it could potentially mean “child” or “infant” from the word leanbh in Irish. I mentioned in my first post the desire to sway a bit more towards the childish inclination to play and create more freely.
All included photos and watercolors are originals by LK. All rights reserved. Please do not repurpose any photos or images from this post.
